What am I Worried About?


The sin of anxiety

That’s right, I’m freely admitting I am in sin. It’s terrible. Consider this first paragraph a rant of my weakness.  The funny thing is, I am worried about American things. First world problems. Not once has any stress come to mind about our time in India. I am wasting my thoughts on things like: what happens when the tags on my car expire, do I need to cancel my insurance…do I need travel insurance? How much is medication going to cost and what do I need, are the seals on my car going to dry out if it’s not driven, who is going to pay termite control, etc.  This is admittedly embarrassing.

The Cost of Discipleship

I have been reading a book called “The Cost of Discipleship.”  The author is making the connection that when you choose to follow Jesus, it cannot be on any of your conditions.  Unfortunately, as an American man, “on my condition” is the overwhelming mindset in which I find myself. This is why I am spending such great energy worrying about what happens next. What happens when I come back home?

“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Well…if you were to look into my life, you will see that I did not believe that, and this last week was a rough one. By the look of things, I must have believed, “When Christ calls a man, he asks him to create a backup plan for everything he owns, patiently waits as he prepares his materials for safe keeping for his return to the above average lifestyle without skipping a beat.”

Continuing because of Grace

Hmmm… The only thing you should see when you look into my life is the grace that Jesus has given me to allow me to speak on his behalf unto the world – because I currently cannot claim that right. I am a worried sinner clinging onto everything that has no meaning. Why? Because I am weak and have been conditioned to think with the excuse, “Don’t sell something you’ll need to buy again.” Where is the line between obedience to God and worldly foolishness? Or are they the same?

2 thoughts on “What am I Worried About?

  1. Jodi

    Jaimie and Ben!! I am so inspired by your continued humility and openness. Certainly we daily struggle to lay down worries and rely on Him completely. I am looking to your example and am so inspired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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