As Jaimie and I go through our things a thought keeps popping into my mind.
“How did I become like this?”
As I sit and type, I can barely move because of the clutter. I have so much stuff. I have a 5′x3′ desk, and it’s completely covered. I have accumulated so many things. The kitchen, by far, is the most organized distater in our home. It’s a whole room of storage cabinets. One of the smallest rooms in our home holds the most. It’s incredible. I counted the other day, we have 8 frying pans. How could this be? I had 6 guitars (for sale now), two cars, three couches, 2 beds, 5 dressers…and the list goes on. How did I become like this?
I believe it’s because that I have been taught that since I live in a “christian nation” that I can have my cake and eat it too. When Jesus says things like sell your things and give to the poor, or go and make disciples… He wasn’t really talking to me, right? What he meant to say is, stay where you are, work hard and make a lot of money, and then you can give a measly 10% to the local church and feel good about yourself. That’s what Jesus meant to say, right? I look around, and shameful to admit, I must have believed that.
Here is some news. Jaimie and I don’t give 10% to the local church. If there is a specific need that the Church is asking for, we’re more than willing to help. But why would I only give 10% of a piece of my life to the local Church? Jesus commands us to give it all. (Which I have by no means figured out). How can I give it all? Every day I’m told through words or example through friends, family, media, government, etc. that I should keep it all. I should save, I should invest, I should buy fun things and take fancy trips. I should buy more homes, watch more TV, work longer hours to get overtime. Should I go on?
Giving it All
I have no idea what it means to give it all. But could it mean what I’ve believed it to mean for so many years? Save my things and write a small check once a week? I don’t think so. This is why going through all of my things and either throwing them out or selling them is so hard. Not because it’s hard to get rid of things. It’s because every day I see another item, I realize how much I failed Jesus in the past by collecting these things and holding onto them so dearly.